if you have managed to get past the idea that you really will go much faster , much further if you are helped by somebody who has been there and done it all, congratulation you are well ahead of the pack!
but .. you still have a sizable hurdle to get over to make your mentoring experience a truly exciting, rewarding and successful one .
You see there is no absolutely perfect Mentor for everyone under the sun!
In fact what is a blessing for one can be the curse of the other. So why is it so?
Has the person changed?
Have they become unethical?
Did they suffer a lobotomy between the time you heard of their wonderful work and the one when you hit them ?
Mostly the answer is safely no.
It would actually be much easier to deal with –
But getting a mentor can be a tricky business for several reasons – and don’t take me wrong getting the right person at the right time for the right job is definitely worth every effort- I would not be where I am today if I had not benefited from some outstanding mentorship- nor learnt the hard way when things where bound to fail. So let’s see what could go wrong ..
Your characters simply do not match – one is speed, the other one over analytical for exemple and it does not matter who is who- there is simply not a good match to start of with even if the person to be coached is willing to .. be coached.
and this point #2 – willing to be coached does not mean abandoning the reins over to the mentor. It means really spending time to get to the bottom of what is been recommended -( unless you are getting a done for you job.in which case, I would also strongly recommend that you are both absolutely clear about what you are getting !)
People often confuse been advised with having things done for them = Getting a coaching Mentor means getting someone who advises you what works and what does not and why. They also usually explain the reasons behind and go a long way towards making sure that what they end up recommending and what they teach aligns with the clients own values- otherwise we are back to an award and frustrating disconnect situation.
it is usually the most experienced of the 2 ( one hopes the Mentor!) who finds ways to make the journey better, and more exciting for the person receiving the advice – sometimes though you may be more mature in certain aspect of life than your coach and have to make momentary adjustments yourself- weighing in carefully what has to be removed and what has to be retained – not to mention how .
There is also another point that needs to be weighed in carefully before you engage with a Mentor :can the person actually teach? can they pass their success / knowledge on to you ? some people have amazing success but no real gift for teaching how they make things happen. It may work with extremely flexible people to coach but is often bound to failure with more mature students who can’t see how things really happen – or don’t get what something can be useful for.
The last point that comes to mind is the case of the mentor been too far ahead of the person to be coached. You don’t usually learn to drive a car in a Lamborghini nor a plane in an F18. There is no need for that and in fact you are really asking to either scare yourself ( and all around you ) to death or to be totally discouraged because try as you may , too many steps evade you to be able to flow the flight of your Mentor.It makes sense to understand what you need coaching/ help and mentoring with.And it makes even more sense to make sure that the person that you are going to be working with is not millions of miles ahead of you so as to have become totally disconnected with your feelings and frustrations.As you grow, so should the caliber of the Mentor you are seeking and retaining,Remember also that Mentors are not omniscient, however good or even great they are.They have an area of speciality and you should not expect a Master Chef to be an equally brilliant architect.Know what you are looking for and who, therefore you need to help you out with .
One often also forgets that we need different mentors for different times of life be it personnel or professional . A fantastic tech guy who can help you figure out fancy funnel is never the first person a person new to working on the internet should go for. Neither would this particular whiz kid or Gal be able to to help you organize your work, sort out your priorities and create new uplifting habits. Again you don’t go fishing with a rocket nor running with cavalry boots.
Which brings me to suggest that the first thing we really all need is clarity.
What are we trying to achieve? what are we running away from?
What habits keep tripping us over?
What are our perceptions of ourselves and our environment which turn into foe when we try to do something rather than a slick leverage?
If you are ready to discuss in all openness what you feel you could need help, support and guidance with or even get a first idea of how you could get faster to where you want to be , click on the button below.
What happens then ? You will get to a few questions which will help me get to know you better and faster and book a non obligation appointment with me where we look in all simplicity what you are trying to do and who can best help you once I understand a bit better what you need help and support with.
I have genuinely only a few spots every week so get hold of them whilst they last.
No gimmick, I just really don’t have that much spare time 🙂 !
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